In Buddhist ethics, forbearance and forgiveness are not signs of weakness, but manifestations of profound strength. They reflect mastery of the self and a refusal to be controlled by the anger of others. Buddhism encourages us not only to avoid harm, but also to rise above insult, revenge, and retaliation — to respond with clarity and compassion even when deeply provoked.
A powerful example comes from the Saṃyutta Nikāya, where the defeated titan Vepacitti angrily curses Sakka, the king of the gods. Instead of reacting with anger, Sakka remains silent. His charioteer asks whether his silence stems from fear or weakness, and Sakka replies, “No. I simply do not wish to bandy words with a fool.” This restraint is praised by the Buddha as a higher form of courage — the strength to endure without hatred.
Forbearance, or khanti in Pali, is one of the foundational Buddhist virtues. It means enduring hardship, insult, or provocation without losing one’s mental clarity or good will. It is practiced not just to avoid external conflict, but to protect the inner peace that makes awakening possible.
Forgiveness arises from the same clarity. It does not mean condoning wrongdoing, nor forgetting pain, but it means releasing the grip of resentment. Buddhist texts encourage practitioners to reflect: if one holds onto anger, who is harmed more — the one who caused the offense, or the one who continues to suffer from it?
In the Jātakas, there are many stories of the Buddha in past lives enduring cruelty with patience. In one, he is tortured and dismembered by a king, but remains calm and free of hate, saying, “Only the body is harmed — not the mind.” Such stories are not meant to glorify passivity, but to show the immense strength required to remain loving even when facing violence.
Śāntideva, the great Mahāyāna poet, reminds us that the enemy who insults us is also caught in suffering. He urges us to regard them with compassion, for they are driven by delusion. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.
In practice, Buddhism recommends cultivating forbearance through reflection, meditation, and acts of goodwill. Metta (lovingkindness) meditation helps soften the heart. Recalling the impermanence of all things — including anger — brings perspective. And engaging in acts of kindness, even toward those who have hurt us, begins to dissolve bitterness.
In a world where rage is often glorified and vengeance is called justice, Buddhism quietly offers another way. Forbearance is not weakness. Forgiveness is not surrender. They are both expressions of inner freedom — and gateways to peace.