“We’re sorry” means more when we can see that they mean it.
Not just with words. But with emotion.
We often associate emotion with individuals—tears, voice cracks, trembling hands. That’s how we measure the depth of an apology: not only by what is said, but by what is felt.
But what about collectives?
What about when it’s a government, a university, a corporation, or a church apologizing?
They don’t have a single face. They don’t have a singular voice.
So the question becomes:
Can collectives express emotion? And if they can’t, can they really apologize?
In I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies, philosopher Nick Smith explores the challenge of collective emotion—not as sentimentality, but as a moral requirement. Because real apology is not just intellectual. It’s emotional accountability.
And that means a true apology must feel like it comes from somewhere real.
Even—especially—when it’s a group doing the speaking.
Why Emotion Matters in Apology
Emotions like sorrow, regret, empathy, and shame are not just soft feelings. They are moral signals. They tell others:
- We understand what we did.
- We are affected by the harm.
- We wish it had never happened.
- We are changed by our awareness of it.
These emotions communicate depth, seriousness, and humility. Without them, apologies risk sounding procedural, calculated, or detached.
For survivors and communities that have been harmed, emotional sincerity matters. It says, “This isn’t just something you have to say. It’s something you feel. Something you’re willing to carry.”
How Can a Collective Feel?
Of course, collectives don’t feel emotions the way individuals do. But they can express collective emotion through:
- Symbols — lowered flags, public memorials, moments of silence, wearing certain colors
- Rituals — state funerals, ceremonies of lament, days of remembrance
- Voices — leaders speaking not with PR language, but with vulnerability and grief
- Tone — not just what is said, but how it is said—softness, stillness, pauses
- Actions — reform, redress, and change that show the harm is deeply understood
These expressions make the apology not just believable, but human.
They say:
“We are not a machine. We are a community.
We are capable of sorrow.
We are capable of care.”
Examples of Collective Emotional Expression
- In Germany, public monuments, Holocaust education, and memorial ceremonies express a nation’s long-standing grief—not just once, but continually.
- Canada’s national apology to Indigenous peoples was delivered with a somber tone, acknowledging not only the facts of harm, but the moral weight of loss.
- After the Hillsborough disaster, the UK government held public commemorations and offered emotional language in its apology, recognizing not just what went wrong—but how families had suffered through decades of denial.
These apologies were not perfect. But they showed a willingness to engage not only the facts of the harm, but the emotional reality of those affected.
The Risk of Emotional Absence
When collective apologies lack emotion, people notice. They ask:
- Do you actually care?
- Or are you just trying to manage the fallout?
- Is this about my pain—or your protection?
Without emotion, apologies can feel like press releases.
They may say the right things, but in the wrong tone.
They may name the truth, but feel morally hollow.
Smith reminds us that sincerity is not just about content. It’s about emotional posture.
And collectives must find ways to embody that posture, even without a singular face.
Emotion and Justice Can Coexist
Some worry that too much emotion undermines objectivity or legal responsibility. But that’s a false choice.
Emotion does not erase justice. It enhances it. It shows that justice is not only about accountability—but about relationship, compassion, and moral growth.
Collectives can be precise and sincere.
They can be careful and grieving.
They can be factual and human.
In fact, they must be—if their apology is to mean anything at all.
Reflection Questions for Readers:
- Have you ever witnessed a public apology that felt cold or robotic? What would have made it more emotionally authentic?
- What rituals or gestures might help your community or institution express regret in a meaningful, felt way?
- What would it look like for your collective to say: “This hurts us. And we are sorry with our whole being.”?
When the Heart Speaks Through the Many
Collective emotion may be harder to express than individual feeling.
But it is no less real.
And it is no less needed.
Because apologies that don’t feel like anything rarely change anything.
But when institutions mourn, when governments bow their heads, when universities shed their armor and speak from the soul—something shifts.
The apology becomes a turning point.
A gesture not only of responsibility, but of remorse.
Not just a sentence, but a sorrow shared.
And that sorrow? It makes space for healing.
It makes space for trust.
It makes space for us—to be something better than what we were.